MAKING MENOPAUSE WORSE - A PRACTICAL GUIDE

How to Worsen Your Menopause Experience (A Practical Guide)

Because if you’re going to suffer, you may as well do it thoroughly.

If menopause feels like a cosmic initiation ritual you didn’t sign up for, take comfort: it can absolutely be made worse. Much worse. In fact, if your goal is hot flashes that feel like internal bushfires, moods that ricochet between tears and rage, stubborn weight gain, brain fog thick enough to swim through, and exhaustion that no amount of coffee touches… you’re in luck.

Here’s a comprehensive, field-tested guide on exactly what to do.

1. Mainline Sugar (Bonus Points for Late at Night)

Sugar is the fastest way to destabilise blood sugar, inflame tissues, feed parasites and candida, and whip your hormones into a cortisol-fuelled frenzy.

Want worse hot flashes?
Want more belly fat?
Want energy crashes that feel personal?

Sugar is your girl. Pair it with refined carbs and tell yourself you “deserve it.” Your hormones will take that personally.

2. Stay Chronically Stressed, but Call It “Busy”

Stress is the hormonal wrecking ball of menopause. Elevated cortisol steals progesterone, disrupts thyroid function, worsens sleep, and inflames the gut.

But here’s the trick:
Don’t rest.
Don’t slow down.
Definitely don’t feel your feelings.

Override your nervous system daily and wonder why your body feels unsafe, reactive, and exhausted.

3. Ignore Your Toxic Load Completely

Heavy metals, endocrine disruptors, pesticides, plastics, mould… menopause is the perfect time to pretend these don’t matter.

After all, your liver, gut, lymph, and kidneys already have less hormonal buffering than they used to. Why lighten the load when you could let toxins recirculate freely and interfere with estrogen metabolism?

Symptoms love company.

4. Carry Extra Weight and Call It a Personal Failure

Adipose tissue stores estrogen and inflammatory compounds. Excess weight during menopause worsens estrogen dominance, joint pain, insulin resistance, and inflammation.

But instead of addressing root causes like stress, toxins, gut health, and muscle loss, shame yourself mercilessly.
That always helps.

5. Avoid Strength Training Like It’s Optional

Muscle is metabolic medicine. It improves insulin sensitivity, bone density, mood, cognition, and hormone balance.

So naturally, skip it.
Opt for sitting, scrolling, and maybe a walk once a week.
Then wonder why your metabolism feels like it’s packed up and left the building.

6. Soothe With Alcohol (Preferably Every Night)

Alcohol disrupts sleep, worsens hot flashes, inflames the gut, burdens the liver, spikes blood sugar, and sabotages estrogen clearance.

But it’s “relaxing,” right?
Until 3am arrives with heart palpitations, night sweats, and existential dread.

A classic menopause combo.

7. Sabotage Your Sleep Like a Pro

Scroll until midnight.
Let blue light suppress melatonin.
Snack late.
Sleep irregular hours.

Then wake up exhausted and blame your hormones exclusively, ignoring the fact that sleep is when your brain detoxifies and your endocrine system resets.

8. Eat Poorly and Call It Intuitive

Low protein.
Low minerals.
Low fibre.
High inflammatory oils.

Menopause requires more nutrients, not less. But under-eat protein, skip greens, avoid hydration, and wonder why your hair, skin, muscles, and mood feel like they’re quietly mutinying.

9. Let Parasites and Pathogens Settle In Comfortably

Parasites love sugar, stress, low stomach acid, and sluggish elimination. They compete for nutrients, create inflammation, and disrupt gut–hormone signalling.

Ignore bloating, cravings, fatigue, skin issues, and mood swings.
It’s probably “just menopause.”

10. Maintain a Compromised Gut and Chronic Inflammation

Your gut is the command centre for hormone metabolism and immune regulation. Inflammation amplifies every menopausal symptom.

So disrupt it with sugar, alcohol, stress, antibiotics, poor sleep, and zero gut repair strategies. Then act shocked when everything feels inflamed, reactive, and unpredictable.

Here’s the Plot Twist

Menopause is not the problem.

It is a truth serum.

It reveals:

• Blood sugar instability
• Toxic burden
• Gut dysfunction
• Chronic stress
• Muscle loss
• Inflammation
• Nutrient depletion
• Dehydration and demineralisation

Ignore these, and menopause becomes a battleground.
Address them, and it becomes a recalibration.

Not easy.
But powerful.

The Gentle Reminder

You’re not broken.
Your body isn’t betraying you.
It’s asking for a different way of living.

Menopause doesn’t ask you to suffer.
It asks you to listen.

And whether you turn that volume down… or finally hear it… is always a choice.